I haven’t written a blog post in nearly four years. I have reasons and excuses for the that, but the only audience that cares about them is me, so I’ll spare you. Today is the only day I can do anything about.
Over the past few months, I’d been thinking about trying to write again. I considered starting a new blog or maybe changing the name of it. Then yesterday, (New Years Eve) while scrolling mindlessly through my Facebook feed, a post by a man I’ve only met a few times, Pastor Patrick Cabello Hansel of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church in Minneapolis caught my eye. What I know of Patrick is that he is a humble, gentle, generous guy, with a deep spirit and a fire in his heart to make the world a better place. He’s an author, a community leader, a social justice and human rights activist, an artist and promoter of the arts, and the co-pastor (along with his wife, Luisa) of a vibrant, multicultural, multilingual, urban congregation.
Pastor Patrick Cabello Hansel – St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, Minneapolis
But last night, it was his quiet, elegant poem that grabbed me, and reminded me why, about seven years ago, I named my blog “Trying to Pay Attention”.
I haven’t made many New Year’s resolutions in the past, but Patrick’s poem feels like a (big) nudge for me to restart something that I used to enjoy — and the timing of it makes it impossible for me to ignore. I’m not going to make the mistake of setting arbitrary goals for posting things that I will undoubtedly either stress about or give up on, but I am going to give this blog thing another shot.
So here’s Pastor Patrick’s poem. In it, this line repeats, “I try to pay attention”. I take it as a reminder for me to start trying harder — to pay attention to myself and to the world around me.
Thank you for this gift, Patrick. Many of us are entering 2017 with feelings of dismay, apprehension and trepidation. Let’s hope the new year will be a happy one. We all know it’s going to be a memorable one. Let’s all light a candle each day . . . and try to pay attention.
My last poem written in 2016 (unless something pops into my head before midnight!)
– Pastor Patrick Cabello Hansel
On winter mornings
I light a candle
I carry my tea
To the old chair
I try to pay attention
Sometimes I fall asleep
Sometimes the light flickers
And something raw and ugly
Arises from my soul
I try to pay attention
And hear its voice
I breathe the loneliness
And glory we were born into
I await the rising
The first day
The last day
The day that is to come