Can we please put Groundhog Day out of its misery?

For weatherman Phil Conners (Bill Murray) the day turned from a dreary assignment into a living hell. I’m not sure what he learned by repeating it over and over, but I think that the idea of G-Day being a good day for a “holiday” was not it.

Groundhog day makes me sad. Every February 2nd when I wake up, turn on CNN and see the puffed-up old Punxsutawnians pretend that people care a whit about their silly ritual, I think, “30 seconds of my life I’ll never get back”.

I’d rather watch Egyptians throwing rocks at each other.

Or or the abandoned cars on Lakeshore Drive in Chicago looking like the opening scene of a post-apocalyptic movie.

I have a plantar wart on my foot that I’d rather look at for 30 seconds.

Groundhog day is the least celebrated of all celebrated days.

Nobody cares. Nobody.

The day, like most “holidays”, has roots in the ancient world. It can be traced to either “Candelmas” — the Feast of the Presentation of Jesus at the Temple (Mary brought baby J to the temple 40 days after he was born) or “Imbolc”, the day marking the half way point between the winter solstice and the vernal equinox. (Now that’s a celebration I can get behind!)

But a big rat predicting 6 more weeks of winter? (and that’s supposed to be the optimistic option)

Baloney.

And where’s the fun?

Where I live, a good year would be 8 more weeks until the snow is gone — 10 weeks not unusual at all, and possibility of snow for a couple more after that.

Can we please put an end to this nonsense?

I’m not against meaningless rituals in general — Halloween is great, for instance — but only because they bring a little joy. Groundhog day brings to network news shows a large, ugly rodent and large, ugly men in ridiculous top hats.

And now I’ve wasted 10 more minutes writing about it.

So in the interest of something good coming out of this, I’ll close with a link to a page on Eats.com that contains some great-sounding recipes for groundhog meat.

Thanksgiving, look out!

"Leave me alone!"

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